So I majored in having to prove my knowledge of esoteric subjects in conversation because of a nagging doubt that I wasted tens of thousands of dollars and four years of my life on nothing other than to someday gain entrance to a culture of pedants who don’t know anything useful but pretend that they do.

(I minored in cliché existential crises and proper use of diacritic marks.)

Tags: crime doesn't pay and neither does ontology, education, hipsters, if you're so smart why are you destitute, insecurity

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